Dirty Laundry

d7d4ab3d-cb6e-4900-888b-a468dfbe5056_zpsd27e5674Let’s do this dirty laundry 

Someone sent me an email asking me to post this question.

Tracy I have a question for you.  How long should I wait on my man to commit to being in a monogamist relationship?   We have been dating for two years now and he still hasn’t made a commitment to me.  I know he loves me because he has been with me for 2 years but he still doesn’t want me spending the night at his house but he spends the night at my house whenever he wants to.  I cook for him at least 3 days a week and we don’t even live together.  I go over his house and make him dinner  3 times a week, tidy up the house and give him a little but he still says he is not ready to be in  serious relationship??  I just don’t understand why men today don’t know when they have a good women!  Are there any good men left in this world??

Mia

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First let me say that Mia I don’t think he is the one with the problem.  I think you may be the one who has the issues not him.  You see he is upfront with his shit.  He told you that he is not committing to you but yet you still give him everything anyway so why wouldn’t he keep you around.  He continues to get the best of both worlds with you.  Your initial question is an oxymoron “How long should I wait on my man to commit to being in a monogamist relationship?”.  If he was your man he would already be committed so stop claiming him when he is not claiming you!  Ask your self a question Mia.  Why are you acting like his woman when he makes it clear to you that he is not your man?  Why are you cooking, cleaning and sexing a man who doesn’t want to be in a monogamist relationship with you?  The solution to your problem is easy Mia.  The only thing that needs fixing is you.  If he is not ready to commit no matter what you do he still won’t be committing to you.  Stop giving him the amenities of having a wife when he is not willing or ready to commit himself willing to you. You can’t force, coerce or trap a man into a committed relationship.  The only way he will commit to a relationship is if he truly wants to and I don’t know about you that’s the only kind of man that I want!  Now that’s jut my opinion some people may feel completely different.

Tra

Dear Tracy… The Ultimatum

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Hi Tracy,

I won’t take to much of your time.  I have a quick question. I have been with my girl for 4 years now.  For the past 2 years she has been wanting to get married  but I kept putting it off.  Last year she gave me an ultimatum to propose or leave her alone by the end of the year.  Before the year was over we found out she was pregnant in the summer.  Our daughter was born in March 1st.  I still wasn’t ready for marriage so I just didn’t say anything about the proposal.  Everything was good (or so I thought) until the other day when I can home from work and she had moved out.  I was shocked but she said it was because she doesn’t want to play house anymore. So I said to her “well I guess we can get married then”.  She hung up on me and refuses my calls now.  I don’t understand why?  She said she wanted to get married so now that I gave in she doesn’t want to.  My mom said it was because the way I said it.  What do you and your people think?

Craig

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Hi Craig,

First let me congratulate you on your bundle of joy!

Now lets talk about this “so called” proposal.  I am going to keep it short and sweet for you.  Her reaction is more than likely a combination of her waiting for so long and the way you finally “proposed”.  I tell all women an ultimatum is not a good thing.  If you have to force a man into marrying you then he is probably not the one for you in the first place.  Second, saying “well I guess we can get married then” is not a proposal!  That sounds like you are surrendering to the enemy lol.  It doesn’t sounds like you want to it sounds more like you feel like you have to and no woman (not a real woman) wants a man to marry her because he feels forced.

In your entire message you never once said you loved her and wanted to marry her so maybe you should keep it real with yourself.  You may bot want to marry her.  Maybe she is not the one.  You need to do some soul searching and then ask yourself do your really love her enough to marry her?  if you do then get your shit together, go get a ring and do something romantic to win her back.  If you don’t love her enough to marry her then you need to leave her alone and let her move on and be the best co-parent you can to your baby.

I wish you both luck and many blessings!

Tra

Dear Tracy

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Dear Tracy,
This guy I’m seeing has a 6 month old daughter. He stayed the night at his child’s mother house. He answered the phone for me while he was there. I could hear her in the background. But he claims he is not sleeping with her.. I just don’t believe it.. Is it possible for him to stay the night over there and they are not sleeping together.

Hot topic. .. Dear Tracy

Hey Tracy,
First off let me say this is a doozy girl!
I have been married for almost 10 years. My husband has not been the best husband at all.  He has cheated multiple times and I have for given him. We have 2 wonderful children together so I wanted to fight for my family because they mean EVERYTHING to me.
This time things are a lot different. Well,  on Christmas day 2013  I just found out just had a child with his coworker.  2 fucking years  ago!  that I just found out about on Christmas Day!   This bitch had the nerve to show up while my entire family was having dinner. She acted a fool as if I was the other woman. I can’t legally say what I did but just know that I handled them both.  THOROUGHLY!!!!

Now he refuses to move out of the house and his mother keeps telling me that I should give him another chance but I am over this marriage. It is OVER but I don’t want to move out of my home. Why should I since he is the one that cheated for umpteenth time?  What do you think i should do?