Dear Tracy… The Ultimatum

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Hi Tracy,

I won’t take to much of your time.  I have a quick question. I have been with my girl for 4 years now.  For the past 2 years she has been wanting to get married  but I kept putting it off.  Last year she gave me an ultimatum to propose or leave her alone by the end of the year.  Before the year was over we found out she was pregnant in the summer.  Our daughter was born in March 1st.  I still wasn’t ready for marriage so I just didn’t say anything about the proposal.  Everything was good (or so I thought) until the other day when I can home from work and she had moved out.  I was shocked but she said it was because she doesn’t want to play house anymore. So I said to her “well I guess we can get married then”.  She hung up on me and refuses my calls now.  I don’t understand why?  She said she wanted to get married so now that I gave in she doesn’t want to.  My mom said it was because the way I said it.  What do you and your people think?

Craig

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Hi Craig,

First let me congratulate you on your bundle of joy!

Now lets talk about this “so called” proposal.  I am going to keep it short and sweet for you.  Her reaction is more than likely a combination of her waiting for so long and the way you finally “proposed”.  I tell all women an ultimatum is not a good thing.  If you have to force a man into marrying you then he is probably not the one for you in the first place.  Second, saying “well I guess we can get married then” is not a proposal!  That sounds like you are surrendering to the enemy lol.  It doesn’t sounds like you want to it sounds more like you feel like you have to and no woman (not a real woman) wants a man to marry her because he feels forced.

In your entire message you never once said you loved her and wanted to marry her so maybe you should keep it real with yourself.  You may bot want to marry her.  Maybe she is not the one.  You need to do some soul searching and then ask yourself do your really love her enough to marry her?  if you do then get your shit together, go get a ring and do something romantic to win her back.  If you don’t love her enough to marry her then you need to leave her alone and let her move on and be the best co-parent you can to your baby.

I wish you both luck and many blessings!

Tra

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One thought on “Dear Tracy… The Ultimatum

  1. Well said Tracy! See again these young cats playing adult games again!! If he really loved her he would have married her when she became pregnant!! 4yrs??? Everybody love Nike but they ain’t gonna do it!!

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